LET'S LAUGH  FOLKS!

At School

The Science Teacher

The science teacher explained to his class that long waves can go round objects but short waves cannot. Seeing blank faces, he picked up his hat, held it in front of his face and asked the nearest pupil, "Can you see my face?" "No sir." "Can you hear my voice?" "Yes sir." "What does that show?" He hoped for the answer that sound waves are long and light waves short, but the boy retorted hopefully, "You're talking through your hat, sir." *

*be talking through your hat = to talk nonsense - to be talking about a subject as if you know a lot about it when in fact you know very little.
Good Manners
A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say pardon me."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one."
Don't generalize

In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus' discovery of America.
"Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn't he marvellous?"
All the children cheered, except one.
"Aren't you pleased young fellow?"
"No miss."
"Why?"
"I'm an Indian."

LINDOS PENSAMENTOS EM INGLÊS  SOBRE A AMIZADE

1.    If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
2.    True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.
3.    Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.
4.    Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
5.    I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay.
6.    Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
7.    We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere
8.    My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
9.    Hold a true friend with both your hands.
10.    A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
11.    Pass this on to all of your FRIENDS, even if it means sending it to the person that sent it to you. And if you receive this email many times from many different people, it only means that you have many FRIENDS. And if you get it but once, do not be discouraged for you will know that you have AT LEAST ONE GOOD FRIEND. Ever Loving Friend --

The 15 Most Common White Lies and Why

Everyone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why.  Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time.  The list could go on forever.  Stretching the truth is a natural component of human instinct because it’s the easy way out.  We all do it, so there is no reason to deny it.  Honestly, I think the world is probably a better place because of our white lies.
As long as we aren’t hurting others or breaking the law, these innocent lies can make life more pleasant.  They can absorb potential friction between our varying personalities and vacillating moods as we nudge into one another on the quest through our daily routine.  Most of these white lies only stretch an interpretation of what the truth actually is anyways.  Given our rigid optimism to each lead a tailored ideal life, white lies simply cushion us from ourselves.
Here’s my list of the 15 most common white lies and why we tell them:

1. It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
2. The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better than 15 minutes.
3. Oh, yeah.  That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting that I am clueless.
4. Thank you so much!  I just love it! – Because telling someone that their gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
5. Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being slapped.
6. Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I want others to perceive of me.
7. No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
8. I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
9. Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10 things to do first would just irritate you.
10. Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do… we agree and ask questions later.
11. My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn good at bullshittin’!
12. Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be boring.
13. Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
14. I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this online chat room… ha ha!
15. I thought I already sent that email out.  I’m sure I did. – Because telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our relationship.

O SIGNIFICADO DA PALAVRA "AMOR" EM VÁRIAS LÍNGUAS

O SIGNIFICADO DA PALAVRA "AMOR" EM VÁRIAS LÍNGUAS
Alemão	Ich lieb Dich
Árabe	Ana Behibak (para homem) Ana behibek (para mulher)
Armênio	Yes kez sirumen
Bambara	M'bi fe
Bangla	Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian	Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya	Nahigugma ako kanimo
Búlgaro	Obicham te
Cambojano	Soro lahn nhee ah
Chinês Cantonese	Ngo oiy ney a
Catalão	T'estimo
Cheyenne	Ne mohotatse
Chichewa	Ndimakukonda
Coreano	Sarang Heyo
Corsican	Ti tengu caru (para homem)
Creol	Mi aime jou
Croata	Volim te
Dinamarquês	Jeg Elsker Dig
Holandês	Ik hou van jo
Inglês	I love you
Eslovaco	Lu 'bim ta
Esloveno	Ljubim te
Espanhol	Te quiero - Te amo
Esperanto	Mi amas vin
Estoniano	Ma armastan sin
Etíope	Afgreki'
Faroese	Eg elski teg
Farsi	Doset daram
Filipino	Mahal kita
Finnish	Mina rakastan sinua
Francês	Je t'aime - Je t'adore
Gaélico	Ta gra agam ort
Gaélico Escocês	Tha gra - dh agam ort
Georgiano	Mikvarhar
Grego	S'agapo
Gujarati	Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Havaiano	Aloha wau ia oi
Hebreu	Ani ohev otah (para mulher) Ani ohev et otha (para homem)
Hiligaynon	Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hmong	Kuv hlub koj
Hopi	Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Húngaro	Szeretlek
Icelândico	Eg elska tig
Ilonggo	Palangga ko ikaw
Indiano	Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Indonesiano	Saya cinta padamu
Inuit	Negligevapse
Irish	Taim i' ngra leat
Italiano	Ti amo
Japonês	Aishiteru
Kannada	Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan	Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili	Nakupenda
Konkani	Tu magel moga cho
Latino	Te amo
Latvian	Es tevi miilu
Libanês	Bahibak
Lituano	Tave myliu
Malaio	Saya cintakan mu - Aku cinta pakamu
Malayalam	Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarim (chinês do)	Wo ai ni
Marathi	Me tula prem karto
Marroquino	Ana moajaba bik
Mohawk	Kanbhik
Nahuati	Ni mits neki
Navajo	Ayor anosh'ni
Norueguês	Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan	Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan	Inaru Taka
Papiamento	Mi ta stimabo
Persa	Doo-set daaram
Pig latin	Iay ovlay ouyay
Polonês	Kocham Ciebie
Português	Eu te amo
Romeno	Te ubesk
Russo	Ya tebya liubliu
Sérvio	Volim te
Setswana	Ke a go rata
Sindhi	Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux (índios norte-americanos)	Techihhila
Sueco	Jag alskar dig
Suiço	Ich lieb Di
Swahili	Ninapenda wewe
Tagalog	Mahal kita
Taiwanese	Wa ga ei li
Tahitiano	Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil	Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu	Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai	Chan rak khun (para mulher) Phom rak khun (para homem)
Turquia	Seni Seviyorum
Ucraniano	Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu	Mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamita	Anh ye^u em (para mulher) Em ye^u anh (para homem)
Welsh	'Rwy'n dy garu
Yiddish	Ikh hob dikh
Yorubá	Mo ni fe

Londrinês?! Os segredos do exótico idioma falado nas ruas da capital inglesa

                                   Londrinês?!

                   Os segredos do exótico idioma falado
                          nas ruas da capital inglesa

                                        Ricardo Marques da Silva e Tina Leme

           Você está em Londres e ouve um carinha comentar com outro,
    apontando para o seu lado: “ Oh, boy, she is so sad! ” Não pense
    que você parece triste. Nem fique crusty ou dead rar. O melhor é
    procurar uma butique maneira e atualizar o guarda-roupa. E, a
    partir daí, começar a ouvir frases mais agradáveis, como “ She is
    kosher ”, ou, melhor ainda, “ She is cris”, ou “ She is so det ”, o que
    significa que você pode estar realmente pukka.
          Em todo caso, antes de arrumar as malas vale a pena conhecer
    a gíria das ruas e dos pubs londrinos, para não se confundir. Como
    em qualquer outro lugar, a linguagem em Londres nem sempre é
    literal – e nem sempre um bom dicionário é o suficiente. O impor-
    tante é “don’t give it the large”.
          Sad, no caso, em vez de triste quer dizer ultrapassado, out of
    fashion. E tem sentido: para os jovens londrinos, em geral, uma
    pessoa fora de moda é alguém que não curte a vida – portanto,
    sad. Crusty é usado no sentido de estar chateado, “de saco cheio”,
    e rar é quando alguém está bravo de verdade. Dead apenas enfatiza
    o pensamento: “My Dad is dead rar because I got home too late
    last night”, ou seja, o pai da garota está uma fera porque a festa de
    ontem extrapolou.
          Em compensação, sorria quando alguém disser que você está
    kosher. Essa palavra, que em iídiche designa a comida preparada
    segundo os preceitos judaicos, foi apropriada pelos jovens ingleses
    para identificar algo ou alguém very good, ou muito legal. E sorria
    ainda mais se lhe chamarem de cris ou det: ambos os termos foram
    inspirados pela comunidade afro-caribenha e podem ser o anúncio
    de uma bela cantada, significando que você é gatíssima, ou
    gatíssimo, e está abafando. Pukka , então, de origem indiana (pro-
    nuncia-se “paca”), é o máximo: indica algo maduro, pronto para
    comer. “To give it the large” é algo como exagerar, dar bandeira.
    Por exemplo, quando um carinha está dançando piradão demais,
    fala-se: “ He’s giving it the large”.

                    Cultura Inglesa Magazine n. 27, ano VIII, março de 1997, pp. 15-16.
176

BEAUTIFUL POEMS

                     BEAUTIFUL POEMS

Colors Of My World! Sometimes my world is very shiny and bright~ With the colors of the flowers, blue, yellow and red... And at those time, my heart is very happy, And my mind bubbles with the happy things you've said! Then in a lovely evening, the colors of my world change again~ To silver and the gold of the moonlight, and shadowy glows of the night... My heart rests so pleasantly, and my thoughts turn so sublime, The night comes and I find rest, and my world is so right! Other times, when by the beautiful sea, my world is mostly white~ The froth of the water, the lofty clouds, and the seagulls up above... And the soft breezes from the water waft my cares into nothingness, And my heart is once again at ease, and I am enveloped with your love! Colors of my happy, comfortable home, all hues of grains of wood~ Shiny bricks upon the floor, cool to walk on, divine therapy for my toes... The smell of brown coffee brewing in the pot, promising me an indulging treat, Colors of love and happiness, love for you like a beautiful full blown rose! But just a sign from you that I have done something to upset your world~ And unkind word that tears the happy drapes from the portals of my heart... And then my world turns all shades of an unhappy blue, And my world crumbles into nothingness, and the teardrops start! By Miskitti

I'm Richer Than You Are! My mama told me when I was born~ I was so little she didn't think I would live... She didn't have enough milk for me, And I depended on the kindness folks had to give! There was a milkman who gave me milk~ I believe he was a cousin of my dad... I don't remember drinking the milk, But as big as I grew up to be, it must not have been so bad! Then later in life, I was a tricky brat~ My brother was bigger than me for sure... And he used to fight with me all the time, And I'd beat him up to even the score! Still older yet, about nine years after I was born~ I remember mama reprimanding me for stealing her some corn... But she cooks it for us anyway, in a big old pot, And it was good, and methinks, I wasn't such a bad thing that she got! When I went to school, I wore feed sacks made into a dress~ But I felt so fancy in them, I was proud of them, I confess... I think back, and I remember I thought I was perfect, nothing to improve on here, I was so very happy with my life, I saw only perfection everywhere! When I got big enough, I got married to a very handsome man~ And I love him so very, very much, as only a cute country gal can... And life was perfect, I didn't have everything, but that I didn't know, One Christmas, my hubby gave me and iron, and in a picture, with it, I put on quite a show! Simple I am, simple I was, and simple I will always be~ What I don't have, I don't need, and the fancy things I don't want to see... I just take pleasures in the simple things of life, in the sky and the pretty country flowers, And I think it's a lot of fun to lie in the green grass and watch the clouds up there for hours! And perhaps, to you, I am stupid, and stupid, I well may be~ But if stupid I am, hey, that's okay, but are you as happy as me... When you drive down the highway in your big old shiny car, Just think of me, because in the things that count, I believe I'm richer than you are! By Miskitti

I've Been Old Too Long! I'm tired of dressing up like a fat old woman~ I'm tired of singing a damned old song... I'm tired of being know it all and stodgy, I've just been old too long! So be on the lookout for what I'll do next~ I'm looking for youth and I'll find it come what may... And I am planning to be carefree and happy again, And I don't care what anyone will say! I'm gonna dress up in a long loose dress~ With nothing under it but just me... And I'm gonna get me a long, red convertible, And just my dust you'll see! I'll turn my radio up real loud~ And listen to happy music as I ride along... And my old wrinkled body will turn smooth again, I'll laugh when they say I'm wrong! This bun I wear on the back of my head~ I'm gonna let it loose and let it fly with the wind... I'm gonna wear a bikini at the beach, And have a dolphin as a friend! And to hell with looking prim and proper~ And to hell with thinking all of this is wrong... I'm gonna break out of this damned old person shell, Cause I've been old too long! By Miskitti

The Divine Mystique! Clouds of cotton filled the sky, in a field of awesome blue~ As the stream rippled over the rocks, it sang a song or two... Beautiful mountains close by, reflected in the clear, pure stream, Made my life so comfortable, a virtual angel's dream! I stopped to tie my shoelace, and sat upon a tuft of green vibrant grass~ And a nightingale sang it's velvet song to me, an aria of the most excellent class... The vapors rose from the water and caused and ethereal, misty dew, And there looking back at me from the other side of the body of the water,  I looked and I saw you! You smiled your beautiful smile, with a mouthful of lustrous pearls~ A special angel that seemed to come out of nowhere, perhaps a king from another world... You stopped and sat right next to me, and you kissed me on my cheek, The intensity of the kiss you landed on my face, made my knees go weak! Was this all and awesome dream, or was it so elegantly real~ To meet a handsome stranger was the wish all my life, I always wondered how it would feel... And here you were in magnificent splendor, the handsomest man I had ever seen, And you came to me as is by magic, from unknown vistas green! But to ask questions about this happening, to inquire might spoil the image I saw there~ It definitely held great mystique for me, just knowing that you care... And I will never question, from whence one came that is so divine, I will just indulge in it, and thank heaven that you are mine! By  Miskitti

In The Mood! The sun has set in the west, it's a beautiful sight~ And I have showered and have put on my nightie, I'm ready for the night... I smiled at you, and there was a twinkle in my eye that I hope you understood, I put a pretty bow in my hair and I am trying to tell you that I am in the mood! You went outside and brought in a bouquet of beautiful lilies for me~ And as you gave them to me, a glimmer of a smile in your eyes I could see... We didn't hunger or thirst for anything, we were not wanting for any food, And right away, I could see, that you, too, were in the mood! You smelled so wonderful with a masculine spicy scent~ And I knew that even if I tried to resist you, it was impossible, because I can't... Your kisses were so wonderful, and you said my mouth reminded you of a rose bud, And I was so happy, because it was clear to me, that you, too, were in the mood! You went into the glass cupboard and you fetched a glass for some sweet wine~ And you filled each glass full of the sparkling stuff, one for you and the other one was mine. And as I sipped it and winked at you, thing were beginning to get really good, Because you winked back and flirted with me, and it was evident you were in the mood! And the time for night-night was here, and we went straight to our comfy bed~ And we were delighting in anticipating the best night we've ever had... And oh, things were so wonderful, the time we had was super good, And it's just great when we are so romantic, and the two of us are in the mood! By Miskitti

Only Love Will Know The Reason! Beautiful is the lake, where the wild water lilies grow~ For it is in this enchanted place, that wonderful love was mine to know... But my love has long departed, and I am so dejected and alone, And instead of the warmth of love do I feel, the coolness and dank invades my bones! Where warm arms once held me tight, and joy I thought could never end was mine~ Now, there is only emptiness and sorrow, where once the lilies bloomed so divine... And by my side there is nothingness, for without him, for me there is no use in living, For when love leaves you alone and blue, the joy has left the gift of giving! The water still is beautiful, azure as a kitten's eye can be~ When it gazes at a butterfly, like when you gazed at me... And here I exist in an empty world, with no one I love to wipe my eyes as I cry, And there is no dream appearing on the horizon, so I guess this is my fate until I die! The mountains reflect in the lake, breathtaking as our love used to be~ Where dreams were magnificent, where glories were yet to be... But time erased all of the beauty, as time erases the glory of each rose, And then our love dies, and it wilts as the rose does, and what becomes of it,  only God knows! And I will dream forever, of a handsome, tall and glorious man~ Whose love made me so happy one time, but he will never come again... And in the thatched hut by the lake, me and my desire for love will ebb and die, And I will grow old and faint of heart, and only love will know the reason why! By Miskitti

Who are you! There once was a time when I thought I knew who you were, Yet to look into your eyes I see nothing but a blur... Have the days been so long or the nights so cold, That what we once vowed seems almost absurd.... Yet my heart still longs for the Love we once made, Two bodies entwined like the gold on a chain... Where is this man who took claim to such passion Who promised to Love, Cherish and Honor this sanction...? Have the years between us mattered more than you cared, For in your eyes I never saw a glimpse of despair.... Life was bound to change for us be it Better or Worse. Faith was to lead us through the passageway of hurts.... Your lies are endless; claiming no responsibility will you ever bear, Self-protection is your guide as you sit on over there.... With just the blank look you hold in your stare Never hearing a word and always telling me you don't care.... Trust no longer lives here with in these walls of our home, Respect cannot come if contempt is all that is left to share.... No longer am I the one you hold late at night or for that matter even kiss "Good Nite"! Even though we may lie in the same bed to sleep, and at the same table while we sit down to eat. The difference is a world apart, two souls who vowed to be as one.... Now live together so totally undone, I thought I knew you so long ago, now one of us must stay and one must go.... By Linda Emerson-Rook http://heavensblessings.20m.com

New Day Dawning The sun is rising, revealing a brand new day, My heart is singing in the most unusual way.... This day that is dawning puts a smile upon my face, For whatever I do I must not bring disgrace.... I will choose to do the best that I can, And with that I am already ahead in the race.... This day I will shine like a star in the sky With God at my side every step of the way.... New Beginnings are happening everyday, It is just a matter of how you choose your way.... Now go and do the right thing, keep those virtues by your side, and hold tight to your morals don't let them get away, now go and have a "Great Day!" By Linda Emerson-Rook http://heavensblessings.20m.com

Someday I hear the laughter of people off in the distance, Knowing I too will be surrounded by life, engulfed with the living, I will again be looked upon as the person I once was. Full of optimism and trust, within a heart so full of Life. I will not ever become what someone else thinks, but rather that of myself. By: Linda Emerson-Rook  http://heavensblessings.20m.com

My Sweet Little Desiree Love lives all around you. As I hold you in my arms. I fall into another time another place. Your little hand in mine bonds the future with the past. Your smile extends like the rays of sunshine on a bright clear day. Your laughter fills my heart and soul for only you truly know the meaning of Unconditional Love.  By: Linda Emerson-Rook  http://heavensblessings.20m.com

The Ties That Bind He who dwells here, sits as if never born, held between sane and insane. Never knowing the difference of right from wrong. To look in the eyes of emptiness, hateful and dim. No one resides here, his heart is his own, beats only for himself. Over the years I have watched, listened and heard. Only that of a Child who was left somewhere in the past of his very own hell. His grave he digs for he who will lie there upon waking, since no man will live there only that of a child. His soul never surrendered to God. His heart cold as the ground he walks. His eyes a piercing gray. He sees only that which he can live with in some profound sense. Reality is not his. The Child inside, he runs, he hides, he lie's and deceives. No man lives there. Who gave such a soulless side to him. For what reason for what purpose, their own! No Man till he faces reality, Life not his, but societies. By: Linda Emerson-Rook  http://heavensblessings.20m.com

Friends Like You There is no limit on sunshine seen in ones day For the heart can see so much more than ever thought No limit placed on love received in ones life All this made possible because of friends like you Wonderful doesn't begin to describe feelings felt For some feelings are simply beyond description Especially feelings as those your friendship allows me And for that I know I have been blessed Knowing I can reach out for your guidance when needed Your assistance ever so near should I require a helping hand Never missing a chance to point out everything good within ones day And the best part of my everyday is having friends like you Your friendship has become so important within my life Sometimes all it takes is a simple call just to say hello Perhaps a coffee shared with small talk and laughter Or a silly card saying you were thinking of me This life has indeed been made better because of your friendship For you always bring me sunshine during my cloudy days Allow me peace within my heart when I feel lonely Thank goodness I have been allowed friends like you ©2001FrankB.Holcomb www.franksprose.com

Walking In The Rain I still remember our first days together. How we thought nothing of doing those things people do while falling in love. Walking in the rain, catching the falling snow, picking wild flowers. How long ago was that? Seems like forever. Now we always take our umbrella when it looks like rain. We stay inside during those snow storms. Everything just seemed so "right" back then. Not a care to worry about. Not a worry to care about. I have to say I kind of miss those days from long ago. I miss the spirit we had. The excitement of falling in love with you. More than anything else, I miss us. The way we were. Caught up in the everyday world and all the business a household demands. All the time we spend away from each other. Even while together. Perhaps it's time we thought about leaving the umbrella at home. Maybe we should start looking forward to the falling snow again. Please take my hand once more. Let's walk in the rain. Let's make some angels in the snow. Let's fall in love all over again. ©2000FrankB.Holcomb www.franksprose.com

Beauty By: Matthew Evans Life's beauty has no doorsteps Its past has no behind The corner of its every realm cannot be clearly defined So look at it as you see yourself for beauty has no mirror For every love in your heart will not will always be true and clear (Note: Short and sweet, I wrote it so everyone will know how truly beautiful they are as a child of God) http://members.aol.com/justmeliving/

LIFE By: Matthew Evans Life has its ups and downs yet I still go forth and in every movement I make my life for my evening star always falls north and in every love I will always strife for a better peace with mankind and all living things if this can happen, it will be so sweet to the sense's and the fears and aggressions I will put up to hang and across the far distance I see love so tense so onward I move love set in my heart I never will stop then I see her she is so gracious and blue I sit by her for a second in the fields of forgotten crops she tells me her secrets which seem so true and in that moment, that second of time, I kiss her lips and we combine. all the tears fallen, the trees sitting in the breeze seem to be perfect to a imperfect me. (Note: A simply poem that many could relate to hopefully) http://members.aol.com/justmeliving/

Last Rainbow of Untamed Love Like the river fox that is never tamed I will love you with untamed love and through every loss and through every gain we will stick together like two doves Like the last rainbow in the sky I will always be by your side and into two separate paths we will fly forever our souls will glide (Note: A Love poem I wrote to someone, I am sure it could be applied to many people) Well that is some of my work, I should not even call it work. I enjoy it profusely. Matthew Evans http://members.aol.com/justmeliving/

Greeting Cards

Love From the Heart ! By: Linda K ( Mithi ) Love is only from the Heart And should never be torn apart Deep inside, it is like a flame Burning and knowing this is not a game It is only true feelings Yet, these feelings are so appealing Having one's touch And to be Loved so Much Never being torn apart For true Love is only from one 's Heart !!

LOVE

By: Linda K ( Mithi )

Love can be blind

Yet it can be kind

Love can be lies

but can not be denied

Love can be blue

but can be true

Love can not stay

if taken away

Love can break your heart

and tear you apart

Love can be found

with a soft sound

Love can not see

for it is a mystery

Love is a thrill

and never be Killed

Love is never solved

when it is involved

Love we Know

should only grow

Love is tomorrow

with out any sorrow

Love is on the inside

but should be shown on the outside

Love will never bind

But it can be blind!!

PIADAS CURTAS ( SHORT JOKES)

PIADAS CURTAS ( SHORT JOKES)

 WHAT A FUNNY COW! (QUE VACA ENGRAÇADA)

An American:
- We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
An Italian:
- We have Silvio Berlusconi, no wonder, no hope and no cash.

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- All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.

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- Why didn't the sailors play cards?
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.

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- Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
- Because the grass tickles their balls!

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- What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
- 365 used condoms are VERY good year.

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- What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

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A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
- Stop! Treason! The ass!!!

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- Who has invented the love?
- The poor, so they can fuck for free.

---

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.

---

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.

---

Good: Your wife doesn't talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.

---

Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.

---

Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.

---

Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.

---

Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.

---

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You have found porn videos in his room.
Very bad: You and your wife are the main actors. 

I'm tired  of these jokes! 

Oh My Gosh!I'M JUST A BEAR!(ESTOU CANSADO DESTAS PIADAS)  OH MEU DEUS!! SOU APENAS UM URSO!

SORRY FOR SAYNG THAT! (DESCULPAS POR DIZER ISTO!

Quais as frases mais usadas no Estados Unidos?

São expressões idiomáticas e se forem traduzidas ao pé da letra perderá o sentido cognitivo em relção ao português brasileiro:

Don't push me! (não força!)
What a hell is going on here?(que diabos está acontecendo aqui?)
I'm down in the dumps... (to sofrendo, "com dor de corno")
Are you pushing my leg, right? (ta brincando comigo, certo?)
That's such a shame! ( que vergonha!)
Please, come over here. (Por favor venha até aqui.)
So, let's get it start. (Então, mãos à obra.)

PALAVRAS QUE SE TORNARAM HÁBITO NO BRASIL

PALAVRAS QUE SE TORNARAM HÁBITO NO BRASIL

pet shop
hot dog
refil (essa palavra nao existe em português, assim como muitas outras nessa lista..)
check in
video game
fast food
happy hour
ok
drive thru
drag queen
internet
link
home theather
piercing
pub
remix
skate
shopping
performance
hit
entre outras....
Isso se chama Anglicismo, palavras em inglês usadas na língua portuguesa.

DE ASSIS THE BLOGGER TEACHER: Pérolas de Enem e vestibulares

DE ASSIS THE BLOGGER TEACHER: Pérolas de Enem e vestibulares